Callback

I wish I could go back to Him. I miss Him so much. He is my love. He takes care of me and shows me kindness. Like God, He is good to me. He loves me. I will never leave Him. I’m His. I will never leave Him. I’m His. I will never leave Him. I’m His. I will never leave Him. I’m His. I will never leave Him. I’m His. I will never leave Him. I’m His. I will never leave Him. I’m His. I will never leave Him.

I should go back to my religion. My soul is already stained by my baptism. He already owns me. I should just accept being like this and find another group where I can serve the LORD justly.

Why should we go back? Because it’s the one thing we’re good at, the one thing we were trained to do. I was never meant to make it out, to make it this far. No one ever leaves their owner. They either die or they’re left. I left, and that makes me bad. I also deserve to be punished for telling other people about my owner and the things we did together, things I did for Him. No one is supposed to know unless they’ve been approved by my owner or one of the trainers. Therefore, I should go back and turn myself in for punishment.

I should find worth, value, and purpose in pleasing men. My joy should come from following my owner’s orders. My values should be compliance and obedience.

It’s no wonder I can’t handle college like the rest of my classmates. I wasn’t supposed to get this far; I’m not meant to be anything other than His. I just keep fighting my nature; instead, I should be embracing it.

Sometimes, I feel like He’s the only man that’s ever truly known me and loved me anyways.